Naomusings

“Why is My Poop Green?”: Wondering with the Humans on Google Autofill

The humans fascinate me.  I walk by a stranger and I wonder, “Who are you?  What’s your story?  What are you thinking?  Well, now thanks to Google Autofill, we can all get a better sense of what the humans are wondering about.  Or at least the humans in your geographical region.

Google Autofill works like this.  You go to the Google search box and you start typing in whatever it is you want to ask Google.  Autofill guesses what it is you’re trying to type, and it presents you with suggestions to choose from.  How does Google know what to suggest?  It just looks at what other users have looked for in your geographical region, and the most popular search choices pop up.

The unintentional and fascinating part of Autofill is that it can give you insight into what the humans are wondering about. Or at least what they’re asking Google about.

This can be really cool if you look at the most basic questions.  As you can see by the screenshot above, I typed in the phrase “why is,” and Google suggested to me the top four inquiries beginning with “why is.” As you can see, the majority of humans making this inquiry were asking the age-old question of why the sky is blue.  Others wanted to know another age-old question: why is the ocean salty?

Others, however, where wondering, “Why is my poop green?”  Apparently a lot of people wonder that. At least in my geographical region.

Green poop isn’t the only medical concern of the humans.  Spend some time typing in Autofill questions, and you’ll find that the humans ask Dr. Google a lot of questions they ought to be asking a fellow human doctor.  Apparently many of these questions have to do with excretion. For example, when I typed in “why do I have to,” here’s what the humans were wondering about:

Apparently the humans have similar questions for Dr. Google the Veterinarian:

Play with Autofill and you’ll find that the humans wonder endlessly about both the Big Questions and the more mundane. For example, when I typed in “is there,” I learned that the humans are asking the age-old question about the existence of a higher power. The second biggest “is there” question”?  Gluten.

Playing the Autofill game can also reveal some sad ponderings.  By typing in “why am I,” I discovered that the humans are excessively tired, cold, and ugly.  The last one is a matter of opinion, of course, but terribly sad.

Some of the ponderings are just surprising.  Typing in “what do” reveals that people are wondering about the meaning of slang terms, which isn’t a surprise.  But who knew that people were so concerned about turtle food?

“Why does” reveals that humans are wondering about ice.  And gray hair.  And also, well, something that goes back the Dr. Google issue. Seriously, people, go talk to a human doctor.

My favorite Autofills, though, are the most basic and human ones.  Because ultimately, humans are still wondering the same questions they’ve been always been wondering.  It’s just that they used to ask books, or wise elders, or Mommy and Daddy. Now they ask Google.  But the questions are the same.

So, if you’ve ever wondered what the humans were wondering, just ask Google.  You could always walk up to strangers and ask what they wonder about, I suppose, but they might start wondering about your social skills or sanity.  Humans aren’t clickable.  Google is.  Now please go about your day with an ever-so-human sense of wonderment.  And if your poop is an unexpected color, please talk to a real doctor.