Today, I politely but firmly took on a woman on our neighborhood Nextdoor site. She was repeating the Trump/Fox News argument that because a small number of undocumented immigrants have committed violent crimes, then we need to keep them ALL out. I called her on this irrational argument.
And the whole time I was having this public discussion, a voice in my head kept saying, “Naomi, enough already. People are going to think you’re dogmatic and angry and they’re not going to like you. Why do you always have to be so vocal?”
I am tired of this voice.
I am tired of separating my Facebook friends into Best Friends and Acquaintance lists, and then only posting the political stuff so my Best Friends can see it. I’m tired of feeling hurt when people unfriend me and unfollow me because I express my opinions. Even as I write this post, I am remembering that certain people in my life might read this, and I worry that they will think less of me.
I am tired of this standard I have in my head of the Likeable Woman. The Likeable Woman smiles and helps others, and doesn’t have political signs on her lawn or bumper. She posts pictures of her dogs and kids on Facebook, and only posts opinions on Facebook with disclaimers like, “I rarely post my political opinions on Facebook, but…”
Most of the women in the world I care about and admire most are not anything like this Likeable Woman. Yet I realize that I hold myself to that standard. I tell myself that people would like me more if I would only keep quiet.
These days, though, I have been posting political opinions on Facebook for everyone to see, not just those on my Best Friends list. I am arguing with bigots on Nextdoor. I am blogging again, and taking on controversial topics.
Because these days, there’s too much at stake to be a Likeable Woman. These days, we need more Nasty Women.
Oh, and a few days ago, I submitted this post to a certain secret Facebook page that focuses on issues relating to women and marginalized people in the era of Donald Trump. (You all probably know what awesome Facebook page I’m talking about.) The submission was posted, and so far I’ve gotten about 1,200 supportive comments and 10K likes. So there you go.