Is Pinterest the New Backlash Against Women?
Ah, Pinterest. It’s the popular social media site where you can “pin” links to whatever it is that interests you. For many people, that means crafts. And for some people out there—primarily moms —Pinterest is the place to pin your ideas for Competitive Mom Crafting.
And what is Competitive Mom Crafting? It’s sending your daughter to Girl Scouts with (organic, gluten-free) cupcakes that are perfectly stylized into ladybugs when it’s your turn for snacks—even though the other moms just send Oreos. It’s creating a back-to-school ruler wreath for your front door, or better yet, making a personalized one as a back-to-school gift for your child’s teacher—even though nobody else gives the teacher a back-to-school gift. It’s spending weeks wrapping your holiday present so that your coordinating bows and wrapping paper are all at perfect right angles—even though the people who give you presents just throw everything into 99-cent gift bags. And it’s about scrapbooking. Scrapbooking everything.
Now, there’s nothing wrong with being crafty. Far from it. We all need a creative outlet, and making nifty cupcakes and scrapbooks is creative. Craft projects are a source of fun and relaxation for many people, and a way of spending time with kids. It’s the equivalent of me writing blog entries as a creative outlet.
The problem with craftiness is when it becomes competitive—and especially when this competitiveness is tied up in motherhood. Because for some moms, decking your children’s lives out with fabulous DYI stuff is the way to show that you are a Good Mom. Look how much time you put into making a beautiful life for your family! And those other moms, who don’t scrapbook and send their kids to lunch with ordinary, gluten-laden sandwiches? Well, those moms must just have other priorities, huh?
So these days, moms have a whole new category of ways to feel inadequate. These days, Pinterest and the new world of Competitive Mom Crafting is the new backlash against women, and especially mothers.
Backlash refers to cultural trends that function as a way to reduce the empowerment of women in an era when women have increased power. Things are by no means perfect for women in 2014. However, compared to half a century ago, women have far more power in the working world, in government, under the law, and under the dictates of social norms.
A backlash is a trend that functions to counterbalance women’s power and tells them to “get back!” Susan Faludi coined the term in 1991 in Backlash: The Undeclared War Against Women. The backlash Faludi wrote about largely was the frenzy of media reports at the time about women who were allegedly failing miserably at “having it all.” According to the media, these women were dealing with a fertility crisis, a man-shortage, and a general sense of malaise—all as a result of trying to be successful in a man’s world.
Similarly, in The Beauty Myth: How Images of Beauty are Used Against Women (1992), Naomi Wolf argued that the pressure on women to conform to increasingly unrealistic beauty images also serves as a backlash. While women have always felt pressure to be beautiful, the standards of beauty and thinness have increased exponentially—at the same time that women have gained other kinds of power in society.
The current pressure to be a fabulous crafter is yet another backlash against women’s power. Because now it’s not enough to have a career and a family and a home. Now you have to do it all, and have everything beautified with your fabulous craft projects. If you don’t have the time, or the money, or the talent to make a back-to-school wreath, well, just look at all those moms on Pinterest who do!
And that’s the thing about the backlash. It’s all about upping the ante on the long list of things that women are expected to do well. Years ago, women felt enormous pressure to be excellent homemakers. But the ante was relatively low. Sure, they felt pressure for everything to be so clean that you could eat off the carpet. But they didn’t feel pressure to make an array of fabulous back-to-school decorations and other time-consuming craft projects. Now that women have far less time to keep their houses clean—which we’re still expected to do—we have more pressure to spend our valuable time filling our meticulously clean homes with lovely crafts.
It’s the same with food too. Although I’m grateful that we’re more health-conscious than we were half a century ago, the downside is that the pressure on women to create beautiful, healthy meals has skyrocketed. Back in the 1950s, there was lots of pressure on women to be great cooks. But what it meant to be a “great cook” was a whole lot easier than it is today. It’s not that hard to make a pot roast, and it’s not hard to slap together tasty meals out of the processed ingredients that we scorn today. But now, we’re expected to come home and make meals made with ingredients we’ve so carefully shopped for that are “clean” and “whole” and organic and unprocessed and gluten-free and GMO-free and so on. We don’t send our kids to school with bologna and cheese on Wonder Bread anymore. We send them with elaborate Bento boxes.
We can’t possibly be fabulous at everything. Career, family, beauty, housekeeping, cooking, crafting—who can possibly be the master of all of this? As women gain power in society, this list keeps growing, and it becomes harder to meet the standards of any one of these things. As a result, some women feel insecure about themselves, and other women pit themselves against each other to be the single most fabulous superwoman on the block. Both of those trends take away from the power of women to be confident, successful allies—and therefore, it’s a backlash.
My thanks to Julie from Perfect Whole and the other awesome moms who inspired this post through their discussion on Facebook!
How I totally agree with this. Its why I’m terrified of having children some day. Because there is no way I’m going to be growing my own organic veggies and then blending them and making my own baby food while using 100% organic cotton cloth diapers and all natural wood toys. 😦
I’m one of those really horrible people who would absolutely hire a nanny AND a cleaner if I could afford it. And who knows, maybe someday I will?!
One of my supervisors here gave me a fabulous piece of advice once which was “Women who work outside the home shouldn’t also have to work inside the home”. She has a cleaner and a laundrywoman… and no children.
I don’t necessarily believe the sentiment above 100% – especially if both spouses are working and sharing duties inside the home. But if you earn a lot of money and can afford it, surely it makes more sense to pay someone else to do something? E.g. why spend your time agonizing over repainting your bathroom, when it is actually more efficient for you to work, and because you earn quite a lot, you can pay someone else to do it. It’s the whole time vs. money argument, and I would agree that time IS money.
Anyways, there is some more food for thought. 😀
-Rebecca
Idealism never goes out of fashion
I blame Martha Stewart. It just feels good wincing at her for some reason.
I totally disagree. Just because somebody wants to cover her entire house with washi tape chevron stripes does not mean that anyone else has to do it. To each his or her own. I’m all for sending in the damn bag of Oreos. People do what they can. But anything can be taken too far–the world is full of perfectionists. However, if someone wants to feed my kid a perfectly made ladybug cake or something is welcome to do so. And I can say thanks, too. Go ahead–wrap my present with genuine jute bows. I’ll still give my presents in the plastic shopping bag. Just have confidence in what you can do and don’t cut other people down. Let’s not treat other women as if they have to pretend NOT to be interested in something they actually like. I think Pinterest is a great resource and a lot of fun. There will always be people who act superior about something, but for most folks, it’s just something interesting and active to do.
Thank you, Alexandra. I personally love making elaborate crafts and sweets, but I have literally lost friends over it and have since gone into hiding. I have never shamed anyone for doing more or less, to each his own. But several mean moms in my “group” feel the passion and joy I derive from these hobbies is a direct affront to them. It makes me sad that I’m treated a jerk for making cake pops for my son’s birthday party. When my daughter’s birthday came along this year I bought a cake from the grocery store to avoid the sneers and snide comments. Hoping to meet more compassionate people in the future because I miss my fun.